Allenby In Wonderland
by Sanzolicious
Summary: What happens when XXDGcellchibodeexx decides to mess around with a classic story which became a disney classic? You just don't wanna know!


"In FC. 2, the colonies were at war and thusly things weren't as good as they are now, then they created the gundam fi." Nastasha was cut off as wreath of flowers fell on her. "Allenby, pay attention and you might learn something"  
"How can I possibly pay attention to a book without pictures?" Allenby complained, continuing to play with her kitten.  
"Allenby, not all good books have to have pictures." Nastasha sighed, exasperated  
"Well in my world all the books would be picture books," Allenby answered.  
" What utter nonsense." Nastasha said, shaking her head.  
"Exactly, my world would be nothing but nonsense!" Allenby smiled. "Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't!"  
Allenby climbed down from the tree branch and walked off into a field of flowers. She sighed and looked around, it was dull to live in the real world. But suddenly a humanoid white rabbit with long red hair and violet eyes ran by.  
"I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date! No time to say hello, goodbye, I'm late! I'm late I'm late!" The rabbit man cried.  
"Goodness! I'll bet he's late for a party!" Allenby grinned, she liked parties like any little girl, and besides, parties usually have videogames, which Allenby also loved. So she followed the rabbit down a rabbit hole, unfortunately, she began to fall and fall until gravity stopped working and she gently floated down. She landed with a THUD! On a tile floor.  
"The white rabbit!" Allenby exclaimed, running after the rabbit through a bizarre series of doors until she came upon a magical talking locked door, which had an orange cap, brown hair and a beard.  
"You're way to big to go through me" said the Canadian door.  
"But sir, I need to get through!" Allenby pleaded.  
"Why not try the bottle?" The door suggested  
"Where?"  
"On the table of course!" and with that word, a table and a bottle appeared.  
" Hmmm" Allenby looked suspiciously at the bottle. "How do I know this isn't poison? Oh well, I guess I'll just have to risk it" she sighed as she drank from the bottle. Then a wondrous thing happened and Allenby began to shrink.  
"Careful, or you're likely to go out like a candle!" The door yelled.  
Allenby stopped drinking. "Oh, but this is wonderful! Now I can fit through!"  
"Not so fast, missy, I'm locked" The door laughed. "But of course you have the key so this isn't a problem" a key appeared on the table.  
"No! The key's up there you moron!" Allenby yelled angrily, suddenly, the berserker mode kicked in and she tore down the door and found herself in the ocean. " D'OH!"  
Allenby soon washed up on shore and an old humanoid dodo with a braid and a mustache waved to her from atop a rock.  
"You'll never get dry that way! You have to run and train diligently!"  
"Thanks but not thanks" Allenby answered as she spied the rabbit man again and ran into a dark forest after him.  
In the forest two egg shaped men with mustaches stood behind bushes watching her, one had a grayish blue mustache and a very ugly haircut, the other had the most hideous brown mustache imaginable and a slightly better yet very messy haircut with a matching ugly beard.  
As Allenby was about to step out of the clearing, the two men blocked her path.  
"Awfully rude to leave without first introducing yourself!" The brown bearded man scolded.  
"Very rude indeed!" The man with the ugly gray-blue mustache agreed  
"I'm terribly sorry, my name is Allenby Beardsley and I'm following a white rabbit. I really must be going!" Allenby said  
"Come on, we're lonely." The brown haired man said.  
"Why are you following the rabbit anyway?" The gray haired man asked.  
"I'm curious!" Allenby responded, getting annoyed  
"Oh, she's curious" The brown haired man replied slyly.  
"Just like the oysters" the gray haired man nodded.  
"Those poor things" The cried  
"Tell me about these oysters!" begged Allenby, now interested.  
"The Walrus and the Carpenter" the brown haired man said  
"Otherwise known as 'The story of the curious oysters!" The gray haired man said.  
The two began to sing  
  
'The sun was shining on that day shining with all it's might it did it's very best to make the billows smooth and bright and this was odd because it was the middle of the night!' a ridiculously large and muscular brown haired walrus humanoid with wild huge eyebrows walked on a sunny beach next to a man in a blue smock and an apron who had a metal mask on and long brown hair 'The walrus and the carpenter were walking hand in hand, the beach was wide from side to side but much to full of sand! 'MR. WALRUS!' said the carpenter 'My brain begins to perk! We'll sweep this clear in half a year, if you don't mind the work!' 'Work?! The time has come,' the walrus said 'to talk of other things, of shoes and ships and ceiling wax, of cabbages and kings! And why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings, KALOO KALAY, NO WORK TODAY! We're the cabbages and kings!'' the overly muscled humanoid walrus threw the brown haired man into the water, then walked in himself, coming upon a bed of oysters ''Oysters, come and walk with us, the day is warm and bright, a pleasant walk, a pleasant talk would be a sheer delight!' 'Yes, and should we get hungry on the way, we'll eh.stop and have a bite!' but mother oyster winked her eye and shook he heavy head, she knew too well this was no time to leave her oyster bed 'The sea is nice, take my advice, and stay right here' mum said 'Yes, yes of course! But the time has come my little friends to talk of other things, of shoes and ships and ceiling wax, of cabbages and kings! And why the sea is boiling hot! And, eh.whether pigs have wings. KALOO KALAY, oh come run away, with the cabbages and kings!'' the walrus humanoid played his pipe and led the oysters to a shack. The brown haired masked man went off to prepare some bread and sauce. '' and now, if you are ready, we can begin the feed' 'FEED?!' 'Yes yes, of course! Eh. the time has come my little friends to talk of food and things.' 'of peppercorn and mustard seed and other seasonings, we'll mix them all together in a sauce that's fit for kings, KALOO KALAY WE'LL EAT TODAAAAAYYYY, LIKE CABBAGES AND KINGS!' 'Little oysters! Little oysters?' but answer there came none, and this was scarcely odd because.THEY'D BEEN EATEN! EVERYONE!''  
  
"Oh, that was such a sad story" Allenby sniffled, dabbing her eyes with a hanky  
"Yes, and there's a moral to it!" The brown haired man said.  
"Oh yes, a very good moral for an oyster!" Allenby replied, running off out of the forest before they could bore her with any more stories. After only a short while, she came upon a small house shaped like a rabbit.  
"What an odd place, I wonder who lives here" Allenby said, walking into the house, not knowing that in the US, this is called breaking and entering. She soon came upon a cookie, which said 'Eat me'.  
"Don't mind if I do" Allenby said, eating the cookie, and looking shocked as she grew into a giant.  
The white rabbit soon came home and screamed "Mon dieu! A monster is in my house!" He ran off to fetch help and soon came back with the dodo man from before.  
"hmm..what we need is..." the dodo then saw a Mexican guy with a lizard tail walking by "A LIZARD MAN WITH A LADDER!"  
"Fat chance, my friend" The lizard man sneered, taking out a dart gun and shooting a tranquilizer into the dodo man.  
Allenby rolled her eyes and began eating some strawberry pochy, suddenly she shrank, when she was small enough to leave, she left the house and came upon a beautiful garden.  
Allenby decided that the flower were annoying after they began jabbering about boys, so she lit them on fire and left to an area where she saw pipe smoke wafting into the air. She came upon young Chinese boy with a ponytail laying on a leaf smoking a pipe.  
"Who are ya, sis?" The kid asked.  
" I'm not even sure anymore, to be honest with you"  
"nuh-uh, sis, a gotta tell me" the boy insisted.  
"I hate being short" Allenby sighed.  
"HEY, SIS! I'M SHORT AND I'M PROUD!" the kid glared, suddenly growing wings "Oh, and by the way, the mushroom'll fix your height problem."  
Allenby shrugged and continued, she came to a dark forest, where she heard a deep manly voice and a little girl voice singing.  
"Hello there" the man's voice said, and a cat humanoid with a red shirt, jeans, and a blue jacket appeared. He was purple with magenta stripes, but his hair was blue with a single pink stripe and his eyes were green.  
"Hello miss!" the little girl's voice greeted Allenby, as a small cat girl with blue hair and blue eyes appeared, she was wearing a little lace trimmed black dress.  
"Oh, hello, Mr. Cat!" Allenby giggled.  
"A Cheshire cat, actually" The man corrected.  
" I'm only a Cheshire kitten" The little girl smiled  
"Can you tell me which way to go?" Allenby asked.  
"Well it really depends where you want to go." The Cheshire cat smiled.  
"No where special." Allenby answered.  
"Why not visit the mad hatter? He's loads of fun." The Cheshire cat said "By the way, call me Cheshire Chib, and call her Clover cat."  
"or you could see the march hare" Clover Cat smiled  
"I'll visit the march hare, I don't like mad people" Allenby said  
"I'm afraid you can't help that, we're all mad here." Cheshire Chib grinned.  
"We're not all there ourselves" Clover cat grinned. And the two cats laughed and disappeared.  
Allenby continued on her way to see the mad hatter and the march hare. She heard some crazy singing nearby and came upon the most bizarre tea party ever, a lot of yellow pills and wine bottles littered the table. And a red haired rabbit man and a black haired mustached in a top hat sat at the table singing a bizarre rendition of happy birthday.  
"It's rude to come to a tea party uninvited!" The rabbit man said.  
"Very, very rude." Said a mousy man with black hair and sunglasses who had a piece of chocolate pochy in his mouth.  
"It's an unbirthday party, you know." The black haired man said  
"Oh! Today is my unbirthday too!" Allenby smiled.  
"It is?" The rabbit man asked, delighted.  
"What a small world this is!" the man said.  
Suddenly the white rabbit burst through, Allenby left the tea party in hot pursuit, and ending up lost again.  
"Oh! What'll I do now?" Allenby cried.  
Suddenly, the two Cheshire cats appeared again.  
"Hello, miss Allenby, nice to see you again" Clover cat smiled  
"Hello, I can't find my way home." Allenby sobbed.  
The two cat people smirked and exchanged knowing glances.  
"That, babe, is because you have no way." Cheshire Chib smirked.  
"Right, around here, there's only the queens way!" Clover cat giggled.  
"I've never met a queen."  
"You haven't?" Cheshire Chib grinned.  
"You gotta meet her! She'll be MAD about you, simply MAD!" Clover cat giggled  
"Of course, she's MAD about just about everything." Cheshire Chib snickered.  
"How do I find her?" Allenby asked.  
"All roads lead to Rome!" Clover cat responded.  
"Follow me" Cheshire Chib said, as he and Clover cat walked down a path, which led to a rose garden.  
"Oh thank you..hey, where'd you go?" Allenby queried upon noticing that the Cheshire cats had disappeared again. Allenby continued along her way until she noticed some people, a tall huge guy with red hair, a clown and a green guy in card suits carrying buckets of red paint.  
"Hey! Need help?" Allenby asked. But just as she asked, trumpets sounded and a woman in a ridiculously huge dress walked down the parade ground towards them. She had short messy brown hair, a crown, and blue eyes. This woman just had to be the queen of hearts! She was followed by a man with black hair, tanned skin, brown eyes and an X shaped scar on his face who must be the king of hearts.  
  
"WHO PAINTED MY ROSES RED?!" the woman screamed.  
"IT WAS HIM!" all the men pointed to each other.  
'OOOOOOFFFFFFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" she screamed.  
"Gotta take off their heads, by order of the king." The king smiled.  
"AND WHO ARE YOU?" the queen roared at Allenby  
"Chill out, queenie, I'm Allenby Beardsley and I'm a little girl!" Allenby answered.  
The queen turned around, and Allenby noticed Cheshire Chib and Clover cat balanced on the queen's head.  
"Y'know, we could really piss her off" Cheshire Chib smirked, and with that, he shoved the queen, causing her to trip, revealing an ugly polka dotted pair of bloomers.  
"OFFFFFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" the queen roared at Allenby.  
"Can we please have a trial, honey?" The king asked.  
"Well okay" The queen said  
At the trial, Allenby was trying to pretend she was invisible, suddenly, she remembered that she still had a piece of mushroom, so she ate it and grew huge.  
"You're just an ugly fat tyrannical bully with no brain and..bad ..hair" Allenby trailed off as she shrank.  
"What was that, little missy?" The queen sneered.  
"Well, she said you were a FAT UGLY TYRANICAL BULLY WITH NO BRAIN AND BAD HAIR!" Cheshire Chib laughed maniacally. "You're so screwed, babe" He grinned at Allenby and disappeared.  
"You're beyond screwed, you're super screwed times infinite!" Clover cat giggled and disappeared.  
Allenby ran off, being chased by everyone she'd met in this bizarre place, finally, she heard Nastasha's voice telling her to wake up.  
"Allenby, you must stay awake when I'm teaching you." Nastasha scolded  
  
Thank you for reading, now time to meet the cast!  
  
As Alice we have Allenby Beardsley! As Alice's sister we have Nastasha Zabigopf! As the White Rabbit, we have George De Sand! As the door we have Andrew Graham! As the Dodo we have Master Asia! As Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, we have Dr. Kasshu and Dr. Mikamura! As the walrus and the carpenter we have Argo Gulskii and Ulube Ishikawa! As the Lizard we have Chiko Rodriguez! As The flowers we have. Shirley Lane, Cath Ronary, Bunny Higgins, Janet Smith, and MISS MARIE LOUISE!!!! As the caterpillar we have Sai Saici! As the Cheshire Cat and Cheshire Kitten we have Chibodee and Clover Crocket! As The Mad Hatter we have Gentle Chapman! As the March Hare we have Michelo Chariot! As the dormouse we have Wong Yun Fat! As the Queen we have Rain Mikamura! As the king we have Domon Kasshu! As the ace, the two, and the three we have Marcelot Cronus, Chandra Sheijima, and Romario Monini!  
We thank them all for their cooperation, as well as Disney, Lewis Carol, Bandai and most importantly, XXDGCELLCHIBODEEXX!!!! 


End file.
